Today I was almost hit by an aggressive driver as I was out walking. I was already in the middle of an intersection. I thought Barbara and my dog were right behind me so I stopped to make sure the driver saw me so he would not hit them. As I stood in the middle of the street he kept coming until his bumper was inches from my leg. I looked back and saw that Barbara and Madison had stayed safely on the curb so I quickly moved out of the man’s way.

He pulled up and began yelling at me. I said, “Sir, please do not be so aggressive with pedestrians. We are not protected like you are in a car. You really scared me.” He began swearing at me, got out and actually threatened to hit me before jumping back into his car and rushing away.

There are people who are so wounded they go through life looking to fight with anyone for any reason. Their hearts are broken. They are miserable and do not know to look to their behavior as the cause of their suffering. I see these type events happening more frequently as we deal with all the challenges we have created for ourselves.

I share this because we cannot be the positive change we desire if we attempt to fight fire with fire. Albert Einstein wisely said, “Problems cannot be solved with the same level of awareness that created them.”

Today, I am proud of myself for staying polite. I am pleased I did not allow myself to be sucked into his negativity. I remained positive and for that moment in time I was the different level of awareness than that which created the problem in the first place.

Blessings to each of us who are stepping into the new level of awareness we need to create a much better world. We will prevail, I guarantee it.

Regina

One of the reasons you and I experience unhappiness and dissatisfaction is that we do not take time to determine how we must behave to get what we say we want from life.

For example, we say we want good relationships.  However, simply stating we want good relationships is not enough, because to actually create what we say we want requires determining the specifics of what our involvement must be.

To have good relationships, whether with a life-partner, parent, child, relative, co-worker, friend or acquaintance, requires making a conscious agreement with ourselves to consistently behave positively. We agree to treat other people with respect. We agree to communicate clearly; to speak kindly and listen intently.  We agree to be honest and open.  We agree to be compassionate and understanding.  We agree to maintain a peaceful way of life.  We agree to be trustworthy and to forgive.  We agree to make time to play.  We agree to be responsible and dependable. We agree to readily support other people’s desire to express creatively.  We agree to encourage others to grow their individuality and unique spirituality.

While there are more aspects to good relationships than listed above, we now have a better overall picture of the fundamental behaviors required, on both sides, to actually create what we say we want. And, by taking time to really understand what good relationships are we learn what negative relationships look like as well so we can set boundaries with those whose idea of relationship differs from ours.  For instance, identifying our desire for a life-long relationship with a spouse or partner to be monogamous allows us to exclude those who practice infidelity. Or knowing we like animals allows us to question the reality of having a good relationship with someone who dislikes our furry friends.  Or we value honesty and clear communication then we must pause when considering a relationship with someone who is deceitful and non-communicative.

You are absolutely worthy of having a peaceful life, when you are peaceful.  If you want financial security, save and spend less than you make.  If you want physical fitness, make regular exercise and eating with healthy awareness part of everyday life.  If you want freedom from fear, look within to courageously identify and change what is keeping you fearful.  Whatever you want from life is possible when you assume responsibility for determining how you must consistently behave to create what it is you say you want.

Regina Cates

After decades of self-assessment and observing our world I found pursuing the goal of connecting with and living guided by our spirit is the path to the happiest, most peaceful and rewarding life. To create life guided by the higher consciousness of our spirit requires intentionally moving away from an ego-thought identification into a heart-first approach to our actions. I learned nothing helps move us into our heart as quickly as remaining present with and responsible for our behavior to ensure every word, thought, motivation and deed is aligned with the loving and wise truths of our soul.

Truths such as: life is only real in the present; love always trumps fear; positivism produces greater happiness than negativity; gratitude brings us more of life’s wonders than complaint; all life is sacred; win-win resolutions establish greater results than conflict; two rights do not make a wrong, and visa versa; materialist thinking keep us identifying with ego; action always out-produces intent; being nice results in more cooperation than rudeness; asking “if this, then” determines the long-term consequences of short-term action; being right is over-rated because only ego needs to prove itself right; ego is not capable of seeing past itself to connect us to spirit; you and I are only one drop in a sea of interconnected and dependant life; the only person I can ever control or change is me; the behavior we put out returns to us like a boomerang; and the infinite other truths of mindful, attentive, careful and thoughtful spiritual consciousness.

I believe devoting ourselves to intimately connect with and live guided by spirit is the reason for our existence.  Therefore, we can pursue no greater achievement than transforming an ego-thought identity to leading with our heart, by tapping into and living guided by the infinite universal truths that reside within our soul.

(From my upcoming book - Live Each Day as You Want to be Remembered)

Blessings, Regina

Today is the first anniversary of my father’s passing.  It seems like only yesterday I was with my family at the hospital. For almost a week people stopped by to pay their respects and say goodbye. My mother spent every night on a cot next to his bed.  Understandably she wanted to spend the last days as close as possible to him. I was there every day, waiting, watching and praying for his release.  I held his hand, stroked his head and told him how much I loved him.

He did not seem to suffer. The last massive stroke left him unconscious and in a coma.  Soon after he was admitted he developed pneumonia. The doctors knew it was a matter of time.  With each passing day the realization that he would no longer be a part of my life grew stronger.

So today, I remember the best of my father’s 88 years.  On Yom Kippur I will light a candle in his honor.  I will say a prayer for him.

BarbaraToday is the first anniversary of my father’s passing.  It seems like only yesterday I was with my family at the hospital. For almost a week people stopped by to pay their respects and say goodbye. My mother spent every night on a cot next to his bed.  Understandably she wanted to spend the last days as close as possible to him. I was there every day, waiting, watching and praying for his release.  I held his hand, stroked his head and told him how much I loved him.

He did not seem to suffer. The last massive stroke left him unconscious and in a coma.  Soon after he was admitted he developed pneumonia. The doctors knew it was a matter of time.  With each passing day the realization that he would no longer be a part of my life grew stronger.

So today, I remember the best of my father’s 88 years.  On Yom Kippur I will light a candle in his honor.  I will say a prayer for him.

Barbara

Friday, September 4^th Regina and I celebrated her 53^rd birthday. We were treated to a very special dinner by Pasquale, the owner of Il Cielo – one of the best restaurants in Los Angeles and our favorite.

The story begins a year earlier when we celebrated her 52^nd birthday at the same restaurant. We arrived early, around 5 p.m. to ensure enough time for dinner before we caught an 8 p.m. performance of Wicked. We were escorted by our waiter to a corner table in the courtyard that was partitioned off from the entrance by a row of bushes. Therefore, the men at the front did not realize we were seated close by.

As soon as we took our seats a man who we believed to be the maitre d’ began a discussion with one of the staff. He was extremely rude and spoke in a steady stream of vulgar four letter words. Regina, a friend and I overheard everything. The rest of our time at the restaurant was extremely uncomfortable as the man continued to berate the staff and scowl each time he passed our table.

The next day Regina wrote a letter to no one in particular with the hope it would land in the hands of the person who most needed to know of the man’s unacceptable and abusive behavior. Three days after sending the letter she received a call from the owner. He was quite upset and so appreciative to her for brining something to his attention of which he was completely unaware. As a gesture of gratitude for letting him know he sent Regina a gift certificate for a six course wine paring diner for two.

The year passed and as Regina’s birthday approached we decided to use the certificate and return to Il Cielo. We arrived and were seated in the garden. Soon Pasquale came to our table. He greeted Regina with a kiss on her cheek and a very big hug. He said her letter had been written with such concern and respect yet she was so nice that he had been anxiously waiting to meet her. He was honored to have us as his guest and again thanked her for expressing concern in such a friendly, but direct manner. He told us to enjoy and make ourselves at home. Should we want anything please ask. Then he left us in the care of Giovanni and the evening began.

The first course was Burrato Pugliese with Foss Marai Prosecco Champagne. In English it was the most delicious soft mozzarella cheese, heirloom tomatoes and fresh basil we have ever eaten – even while in Italy. We thoroughly enjoyed the beautiful presentation and delicate flavor. And, although I am not a champagne lover the Foss Maria Prosecco was light and lovely.

Second was a dish of Poppardella in white truffle sauce paired with Bollini Pinot Grigio. Translated, we were served the lightest homemade pasta with white truffle sauce. I understand white truffles are extremely expensive. The wine was delicious and yet the glass was almost ¾ filled. The next time Giovanni came over Regina asked if the remaining 4 course wine pairing could be less. He smiled and winked. I think he could see that we are not used to drinking.

Our third course was Pan seared Alaskan halibut with sautéed escarole and yellow tomato sauce paired with a Rodney Strong Chardonnay. This is self explanatory. The fish was buttery and delicious. The portions were large enough we each had some to take home.

Then came one of Regina’s favorite courses; Champagne with sorbet. This Pasquale explained, was to refresh our palate. The combination of sorbet floating in a champagne filled glass was divine.

For the fifth course I had Blue Hawaiian Prawns while Regina had a petite Filet Mignon. These were paired with Raymond Cabernet 2004. There was nothing left.

The sixth and final course was desert. Because it was Regina’s birthday Giovanni served a Heart-shaped chocolate flourless cake (with two birthday candles) paired with Bouvet Brut Champagne. We shamelessly devoured the delicacy and left absolutely nothing.

After the first course I was a tiny bit tipsy so I only tasted the other wine offerings. Regina enjoyed a bit more so I gladly drove home.

This was a birthday dinner Regina and I will always remember. Yes the food, service and atmosphere at Il Cielo are always exquisite. But, this birthday was special. Choosing to stand up for what is right and address a hard topic in the most polite and respectful manner possible, without expecting anything in return, resulted in an evening to cherish and a new friend. We can’t wait to go back.

Regina and I were recently interviewed in our home by Jim Morris, host of Shaman TV. Jim was accompanied by his producer, Raffi Mauro, of 2hip4tv.com, and his crew.

Although together we are Romancing Your Soul, what Regina and I offer is different. Therefore, we were interviewed separately.

Regina went first. I watched from behind the two cameras. I was thrilled to witness the excitement of the producer. He gesticulated in agreement with the passion, enlightenment and wisdom of Regina’s message. She was wonderful. I can’t wait for it to be edited and uploaded so everyone can see it.

After a short break for refreshments of fresh grapes and organic strawberries, it was my turn. I spoke about my mission to make a difference in the world by enhancing the well-being of others. I addressed the benefits of Yoga to bring balance to the mind, body, spirit and emotions. Maintaining balance we are better equipped to live a life of peace and awareness. After we spoke for a while, Jim and I got on the floor and did a few seated Yoga poses. We had a lot of fun as we sat there knee to knee.

I am excited and will share as soon as our interviews become available.

Namaste,
Barbara

There is a certain rule in life worth considering. It particularly applies if you are confronted by challenge. It is called the Rhino Principle.

The rhino is not a particularly subtle or clever animal. It is the last of the antediluvian quadrupeds to carry a great weight of body armor. And by all the rules of progressive design and the process of natural selection the rhino ought to have been eliminated. But it hasn’t been. Why not? Because the rhino is single-minded when it perceives an object, it makes a decision - to charge. And it puts everything it’s got into that charge. When the charge is over, the object is either flattened or has gone a long way into cover, where upon the rhino instantly resumes browsing.

Few people think of learning from a rhino. When faced with challenges we may fuss about them or simply charge them. The Rhino principle may not produce the perfect results, but it does produce results. And once produced results can be adjusted, improved, polished and made satisfactory. But if the Rhino principle is ignored, there are no results.

Having established our central objective we must charge at it again and again until the goal is achieved. That’s what the rhinoceros does. It may not be a model animal but it does one thing very well. And that one thing we can learn: Charge!

- Adapted from an article by Paul Johnson, Forbes, January 2006

Sharm

I wanted to tell you what happened to me a few hours ago - and how I responded b/c you guys would be so proud of me!!! - (remaining nicer and more peaceful than the world around me).

I was driving in Westwood doing errands for the psychiatrist I work for. An old guy in a blue Porsche got upset w/me b/c he wanted to move into my lane. Anyway - he zoomed around me and moved in front of me and slammed on his brakes super quickly. Then he backed up so that he was maybe an inch from hitting the front of my car.

People in cars going the other way asked if he’d hit me and told me he was an asshole, etc). He proceeded to sit there for a good 10 minutes or more- intentionally creating a traffic jam behind us.

You know what I started doing?  I started laughing!!!  Not so much at him - but more at the situation. And, also at him - I mean, how ridiculous!! I said, Dude, you are crazy. If you want to hit my car b/c your car is TONS more expensive than mine – go ahead because you are the one who’s gonna be SOL (especially since parts are hard to get for Porsches-  I know - my bro had one!)…

(I’ve already been thru one car accident this year when someone hit my hood - I know exactly what to expect and how to handle it!)

And I thought to myself - okay if you are going to be a shit - I can wait here all day - I had great control of my car - I was in the Zen place of knowing exactly what to do (rather than panic).  And in the Zen place of saying - you know what - if it makes you feel better to jam up traffic and almost get your car in an accident where there are tons of witnesses… then so be it.  Doesn’t have to do with me!  I cannot control what the universe puts before me - I can only control my reaction to it!!!

I felt bad for the people behind me stuck…and I tried to get them to get in the other lane and pass us.  And I was talking to the people driving in opposite traffic.  And I just shrugged my shoulders. Please - how terrible life (ha -being sarcastic) must be for an old guy from Florida (Florida plates) who could afford to have a bright blue turbo Porsche and afford the insurance to drive it around like a maniac in LA!  And how - yeah, he’s a shit head… but that doesn’t affect me if I don’t want it to!  Obviously an unenlightened soul who is unhappy in his life - even though he has (obviously) plenty of the things that society uses to define success - he’s actually not as good as me!!  (Maybe not a nice thing to think - but I was thinking that in terms in a whole “evolved” sense…)

He was being so disruptive and creating a terrible traffic jam that I ended up calling 911 - then he got scared when he realized what I was doing and drove away (took a turn to hide - what a coward!)

I was super controlled (I really wanted to hit his car REALLY!! but I didn’t - I didn’t even give him the finger!!!) and I followed my gut and my instincts to a “T”!

Anyway - I thought of both of you b/c without your guidance - I probably would have smashed into his car on purpose. It would have felt good in the moment - but I would have had to deal with the repercussions for a long time…

So thanks you two!!! Much love…Sharm